Why am i gay and single

Are you a year old who keeps chasing after college guys? Why do you set yourself up like this? What would it be like if you dated men within your own age group — give or take five years? A tattoo here and there is hot. A sleeve can look amazingly attractive. But if you are one of those gay men who basically has your entire body covered from neck to toe with ink, someone needs to tell you that you over did it.

At some point, even the least enlightened among us can tell you are trying to cover hide something about yourself. Are you one of those gay men who suffer from severe body image issues? Do you feel invisible when you are out in public, like a bar or street fest? Was your solution to these problems to inject yourself with drugs like Deca-Durabolin, testosterone cypionate and other steroids? While your muscular appearance may get you a lot of attention from other gay men, it also sends the signal in bright, flashing neon lights that you are an extremely messed up person.

Nobody is interested in dating an insecure, bloated, roided out gay man.


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Does it seem like you go out of your way to find the negative in a situation? Nobody wants to be around someone who is overly negative. Think about getting some help. Campy fun is great from time to time but if you are one of those bitchy gay men who always needs to criticize others, someone needs to tell you that your behavior is extremely unattractive.

When you are talking crap about how someone is dressed, what they are driving or what they are eating, you come off as a petulant, arrogant queen. What message are you sending the guy you are on a date with when all you do is look for the flaws in others? Is it important that you wear only the trendiest clothes you can get your hands on? Do you need to make sure everyone knows you are sporting a designer label? If so, man are you sick.

This week, reporter Michael Hobbes helps dish out advice.

Sure, how you look is important but if you keep trying to come off like some guy who jumped out of GQ, you are sending the message of insecurity. Are you scrimping by each week?

Are you one of those gay men who needs to borrow money from other people, like mommy and daddy, in order to survive? Do you take the earnings from your good paying job and blow it all away on never weekend outings to bars and nightclubs? Do you charge up your credit cards to fund expensive dinners at 5-star restaurants or to purchase the latest techno-gadgets? At some point, you need to know that money does matter and is an important factor when it comes to relationships.


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We attract what we put out there. Have you ever broken up with a guy and later regretted it? Have you noticed a pattern whereby you call off the relationship before it has a chance to grow? If you answered yes here, it likely means you sabotage your relationships. I just sat by myself in front of the TV.

I remember feeling very isolated because I had no one to experience any kind of sexuality with. I felt like I was completely on my own. This carried on until I was 16, when I started going out to gay bars in my hometown. Back then, no one ever asked for an ID. I'd just sit in a corner feeling unbelievably shy and nervy until I'd drunk enough to get up and maybe sit at the bar.

But I felt like I had to do this—I had to go out. So I'd wait for a guy to approach me, and it would probably end with me going back to his flat to have sex. There would never be much conversation—some of these guys were in their mid-to-late thirties, so what would we talk about?

Gay Men Answer Dating, Relationship, and Marriage Questions

Looking back at it now, I'm like, "What were they thinking? That's not healthy.

The Reasons You're Still Single If You're Gay

I had nothing in common with these men because of the age difference but I was desperate to feel something with someone for a short period of time. I was desperate to feel wanted. A few years later I moved to a bigger city to study. I made myself move because I knew it would force me to meet new people. I thought otherwise I'd end up stuck on my own. But again, I felt isolated because I was living in student accommodation with five straight guys I didn't identity with. So the behaviors I'd already displayed at home just continued in a different city, with much less parental supervision.

I made one gay friend, who I'm actually close to now. But back then, we didn't really talk about things. We didn't really have a proper friendship. We both liked the Spice Girls, and that was enough for me. We'd just go out to bars together and get so drunk that we couldn't remember how we got home.

When you confront him about anything, by the end of the conversation it's somehow your fault he forgot to invite you over for dinner with friends. This guy has so many issues he should be running for office.

You’re trying too hard

As much as you hate the thought of losing him, run away. Only when and if he gets help can the relationship be a two-way street. Because you're not living in your parents' world anymore. You spent your childhood years stealing Big Sis's Cosmo Quizzes to figure out how to attract the perfect mate. You went to school in an environment that said love and marriage were the most important things in the world, and maybe going to college. And you learned in every movie and TV show from Sex and the City to Pretty Woman that getting the guy is the only ending that's happy.

Despite the fact that your parents divorced, as did half of your friends, you're still reading countless articles telling you why it's wrong to be a single gay man. We're so much better than that, in a world where we can make our own decisions about love, marriage, dating and priorities. Single-shaming is subtle and ubiquitous and needs to stop.

11 Reasons You're Still a Single Gay Man (Thank God!) | HuffPost

Being in a relationship can be wonderful and it can be hell on earth. And there's no one lonelier than the guy alone with someone else. Celebrate your single status just like you celebrate your relationship status. Both are equal rights to make you proud. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Also on HuffPost: Because you prefer it that way. And there's nothing wrong with that. Chip McGoldrick. Canada U.

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