It never really came up I guess. Plus he never gave me an indication to think he was gay either. Top 10 reasons straight guys have sex with gay men. As we drove from the gym in his black pickup truck, I remember him telling me that he thought my arm tattoo was cool and how he was thinking of getting something for himself. It seemed like we were at that restaurant for hours — to the point that I had to call my wife and let her know I was going to be late getting back home because I was hanging with my gym buddy.
He told me that was born in St. Pete and was a mechanic for an airline. I shared with some things to — about my wife and two boys. Plus there was football.
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At some point, I remember him telling me that he had broken up with someone about six months earlier. As I listened carefully, it became clear to me that his ex was a guy that he met at AA.
I’m a Straight Guy Who Fell in Love with a Gay Man
Looking back, I can remember feeling a bit shocked that Billy was gay. Like I said, he just never game me that impression — ever. And he never once made me feel like he was looking for something.
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Later that night when I got home and went to bed, my wife and I made love. I can remember kissing her and thinking of him when my eyes were closed.
My wife must have figured out something was off because she asked if I was OK. I told her that it had been a long day and that I probably just needed to rest. Just having those thoughts about Billy kind of bothered me for the next several days. And meeting him at the gym was even more difficult.
That was over 10 months ago. And my attraction to him goes beyond just his physique. Billy makes me laugh and is super funny. I just feel like I can let my guard down around him. Straight guy dreams about gay men. A guy he apparently met online. I remember how jealous I felt and just having those feelings freaked me out. All of this just sucks. That's a man's ass.
Lube is a (gay) man's best friend
There's no natural lubricant in the equation here, including saliva. Store-bought lube is absolutely essential if you want to avoid tearing and general discomfort. Yes, I'm talking about poop. It isn't an inevitability, but it's certainly a possibility , and that's OK.
As we all learned from the trenchant children's book Everybody Poops , everybody poops. You just shouldn't eat, say, a Chipotle burrito with extra guac or a heaping plate of Indian curry right before you have sex. And you should maybe take an extra minute to ensure you're all clean downstairs.
Some men even use a douche or enema beforehand to clean those hard-to-reach spots. It might not be super sexy, but it's better than the alternative. Gay sex isn't Nike: You can't just do it. As I've mentioned, you have to think about things. What did you eat last night? How clean are you? Is there lube nearby? Anal is a bit more complicated and often more painful than vaginal sex.
Therefore, gay men don't always have the luxury of getting it on at the drop of a hat. Sometimes penetration isn't even in the cards. Maybe you don't really enjoy anal, or you have a medical issue like IBS.
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Or maybe you just don't feel like dealing with condoms, lube, and enemas. That's totally fine, because extended foreplay, oral sex, rimming, and mutual masturbation are all excellent alternatives.
They're less complicated, more spontaneous, and can be just as pleasurable. Sure, a big penis might be nice to stroke or gaze at longingly.
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But if the penis is too large, it's not fitting in the back door. Ain't nobody got time for that. It takes too much time to work up to it and stretch things out. Although, poppers -- a substance some gay men take to relax muscles to make anal sex easier -- can help with that issue. An actual sentence someone said to me after I came out was this little gem: Years after the AIDS epidemic, there's still a pervasive misconception that gay sex is dirty and undoubtedly leads to STDs, which simply isn't true.
Today, we even have PrEP: Oh, and it ought to go without saying, but if you're HIV-positive, this doesn't make you dirty or unbeautiful. You can still have sex: We want to know if our partners are tops, bottoms, power bottoms, or versatile.