You are better served to keep your opinion and moral code out of it. If you find yourself in a personal moral dilemma, end your time with that client politely and respectfully right away.
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Very, very, very seldom is there an exception to this. What do you say when people ask about your job? Everyone will have opinions about what you are doing, and there will always be those who think your work will impact your life in a negative way. A good rule of thumb is to stand firm in the position of being the arbiter of your own conduct.
Do not let others dictate what might be best for you, especially if you feel strongly about your work ethic. In my opinion there are only a few options, though some combination of them might work best for you. You can be out, loud and proud about being a sex worker. Align yourself with the organizers of sex worker advocacy programs in your area. SWOP is one and there are others see the resources below to find a world directory of such organisations.
Find out which advocacy group fits your personal idea of sex work and lean on the members for resources and information about sex worker rights. If you go this route, you may feel free to show your face in photos and videos. Most escorts who show their faces tend to do well and are trusted by first time clients looking through profiles. If they can see your face, especially your eyes, they are more likely to contact you.
However, and for all sorts of reasons, many escorts cannot be so out. I suggest that those escorts try to be more personable with each client they meet and maintain a long-term repeat relationship. There are benefits to being in hiding.
If you have any qualms about being stigmatized or harmed, then this might be the best route for you. Many escorts have various life situations that require this level of discretion. Most are still very successful. The most important rule of all is to be you. Do not try to be something you are not.
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Save that for your porn career. You can maintain good boundaries, and in some circumstances, keeping parts of your personal life private is a wise policy. Be honest about your likes and dislikes. There is a broad range of fetish likes and dislikes. Imagine being with a client in a highly sensitive role play scene that is his very personal sexual turn on. Your reaction can be healing or hurtful.
Be caring and considerate, especially with kink and fetish clients. I believe common sense is your best friend here. Yes, you may work a week and make a large sum of money and it will be mostly in cash. If you do not track your earnings and manage them wisely, as with any profession, you will not feel good about your success.
In the beginning I bought stuff like a kid in a candy store. Thankfully, I also spent a great deal of time, energy, and especially money on promoting my business. I hired other escorts to film videos with me to post online so I could drive more business to my website and my escort profiles on Rentmen and other sites. I frequently boost my ads for premium advertisement placement on escort websites because I know that exposure equals income for the future.
I used to save all my cash in a hole in the wall in my tiny apartment. At one point I had thousands of dollars and no way to declare it for my taxes. Depending on where you live, not declaring income is a huge red flag and can land you in heaps of trouble. I began making deposits into my bank account on a regular basis and declared my income the best I could.
Tax laws in every country are different, but being responsible is important. I know guys that log every penny made and take notes about every penny spent. There are apps or programs you can download to help you with your finances. I use Turbo-Tax and it is very automated. The one thing I do not do is make claims or deductions for crazy or uncommon things like travel expenses and clothes.
While you want to be exciting and enticing as an escort, you want to be boring and forgettable as a tax payer.
Confessions of a Gay Male Escort 1: The Straight Guy by Derek Cova
You make your living with your body, how do you take care of it? I have no opinion about personal recreational drug use, but I caution you to be very mindful about how tempting it is to get high with clients chem-sex or partying. My experience has shown me that there are far more long-term clients who do not partake in drug use than there are that do.
I believe moderation is the key for most people. These days, I take time for myself. I go out and play. I spend lots of time with my dogs and my partners just hanging out. I scuba dive, free dive, dance at clubs and, yes, I have sex with others for myself. I have to take care of myself.
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So, I get out there and enjoy life. Sometimes, that free time means doing some volunteer work, helping a buddy move, or taking my sister out to dinner. Many escorts will isolate themselves out of fear that their work stigmatizes them. You will be surprised to learn how accepting and loving people are to sex workers.
If you live in a country with free healthcare, be aware of your standard of care and make sure you engage a healthcare worker you can be honest with. This may not be your family doctor. If you want to remain anonymous and go to clinics that are able to serve you better, then do so. You must get tested as often as possible.
I suggest that after a week or two of hard work, you get yourself to the clinic and take the battery of STD tests. For regular citizens, it is suggested every 3 months. But you are not an everyday person. You may be in contact with numerous men in a week, so be wise and visit more regularly.
Ask about condoms, and Z-Pacs. The more you have in your toolbox of prevention the better. If anything comes to light, see a doctor right away. Most of the STDs are easily treatable. As a matter of fact, people will generally appreciate your honesty and realize that you care not just about your pride and yourself but you care about them as well. Nine times out of ten, you will not lose the client over such issues and you will have created a stronger bond.
Play safe and use current methods of science that support safer sex. You might be surprised at the statistics around condom failure and the progress around HIV prevention.
Your friends do not know better than scientists all over the world who have spent decades in a lab trying to find a cure for life-threatening diseases. There are lots of stigmatizing slogans and lots of opinions about sexually transmitted diseases. Do your research, ask questions and be informed.
A few last thoughts… Many of the greatest men in my life have helped me live a healthy, prosperous life; by and large, these men were clients. Some have become like family to me. I have met some of the most attractive men on the planet.
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I still have the best sex with men who are least likely to be seen on the runway in Milan. I am human. I make mistakes. I can kick a trash can over in a fit of rage just like anyone else. Fortunately, I have the capacity to forgive myself and others, and I can move forward and do what I love to do. Wherever the road leads, I feel I am constantly being rewarded with greater and greater challenges and more meaningful experiences.
Last year, I swam with a pod of humpback whales in Tonga for 7 days. I have bathed elephants in Thailand, hiked with gorillas in Rwanda, and I have just hung out with my friends at rock concerts. It all counts, and is all a direct result of the work I do as an escort. My life as a male escort has been fulfilling and wonderful.
It has also sometimes been painful and hurtful. But, all in all, I have figured out one very important thing. Resource Material Below please find a list of published resources about male escorting that you may find useful. You can access the material by clicking on the link. Please remember to do your own research.
A lot of material is now available about escorting. We list some books written by gay, bi and straight identifying escorts or writers that have interviewed male escorts.